I wish it was easy
As I sit there picking at my nails
Shaking one leg
And working my jaw wordlessly
I wish it was easy
I wish I could do it
As I walk down the street
Dragging my feet
Eyes threatening to roll back from exhaustion
which has no known source
I wish I could do it
Is it easier for others? Do they wish too?
I ask myself this question as I sit around a table with friends
Friends which laugh, which express themselves with their hands
Friends I stare at
Do they feel how I feel too?
I wish to know
Oh, I so do
So that I can tell myself that I’m not alone
I am not alone in my doubts, in my wonders, in my prayers
Anything
To justify those thoughts that never quiet
These thoughts
That never leave